Influence of affectivity and physical contact on sexuality

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Physical contact is essential for the healthy development of the personality of the human being from the moment of birth. From that moment ties will be created for sexual and affective development.

Imagine a baby that has just been born. The first thing that doctors will do after making sure the newborn is healthy is to give it to their mother, and the most likely thing to do is to hug him, look at him and talk to him. The physical contact, therefore, is essential for the healthy development of personality from the first moment of life. It is food for our brain, our mind, and our body.

Through contact with the mother and other people, the baby grows and discovers a whole universe of sensations and stimulations that start him progressively in the world of erogenous stimulation or proto sexuality to finally develop in adolescence the ability to Live full sexual experiences.

Affectivity and physical contact

We can affirm that in the first stages of life, affectivity and physical contact together with erogenous stimulation go hand in hand and that, little by little, the individual’s sexual life becomes relevant in itself as an element that will evolve outside the family.

Since sexuality is born in a relational context is always impregnated with that need of another person, even in the case of masturbation is often resorted to fantasies involving another person, not to mention the use of external media such as images or photographs which explicitly evoke others.

Sexuality and affectivity are part of a path that leads to the development of our capacity to create bonds and to enjoy the pleasure of an intimate exchange with another.

Since in their origin, they are little differentiable processes we could say that they are connected and that they are related to each other. The way in which they relate to each other depends on interpersonal and environmental factors.

Culture, environment and society influence

The way in which sexuality and affectivity interact is determined by the culture in which we live, in the first instance and by family and social relations in the second, a fact that affects the development of the binomial sexuality/affectivity and the way of living it.

On the other hand, due to the particular internal emotional economy of each one, there are also individual factors that will determine how we live the relationship between both experiences, this can be both physical and psychological factors.

We will say, then, that the relationship between sexuality and physical contact and affectivity responds to biological, psychological, family and cultural factors.

Influence of affectivity and physical contact on sexuality
Relationships of couple

It is well known that a good relationship between affectivity and sexuality is a basic pillar in the good health of relationships: on the one hand, you can put yourself on the other side and develop feelings of love towards him or her and on the other, you can enjoy sex inscribed in the affective relationship. This fact gives rise to the feedback of these two dimensions. That is to say, the sexual life strengthens the affectivity and the effective life nourishes the sexual relationship with love, hence the expression “make love”.

However, this does not mean that the couple’s relationship to use is the only way in which affectivity and sexuality are related. Today we find many different formats to focus on sexual and effective life:

There are those who systematically ignore the affectivity to have sex.

There are those who can not have sex without feeling intense affection.

The majority of the population is in the middle of these two options. We can say that both in the relationships of a single night and in the longest, where there is sexuality can leak the affectivity and where there is only affectivity can also leak sexuality since one is not completely separate from the other.

How to know if we have a healthy sexual and effective life

Given that the way in which these two dimensions of personality are articulated depends on each individual, let’s think about what are the necessary characteristics to identify if we enjoy a healthy sexual and effective life :

We are able to see the other person as someone who feels and thinks and not as a mere object at the service of self-satisfaction.

We take into account the physical and emotional needs of the other person: we seek for their physical pleasure and emotional well-being.

We are able to become aware of what gives us pleasure and makes us feel good and we feel free to communicate it.

There is room for empathy, respect, and individual freedom in the deployment of both sexual and effective relationships.

In the case of not having a stable partner, we are able to adapt to different people with different needs, understanding that a healthy sex life requires some flexibility and adaptability.

We have the ability to see the other as he is and we do not want to transform him into another person.

An honest and sincere communication predominates. This does not mean you have to say everything you think, but we make sure everyone knows the rules of the game.

This list of defining characteristics of a healthy sexual and effective life can be extrapolated to all types of relationships (sporadic, stable, polyamory, etc.). We

conclude by noting that, regardless of the way we choose to live our sexual and effective life, empathy It is a determining factor for the good health of this.

What you should know…

Sexuality and affectivity are part of a path that leads to the development of our capacity to create bonds and to enjoy the pleasure of an intimate exchange with another.

A good relationship between affectivity and sexuality is a basic pillar in the good health of couple relationships.

The sexual life strengthens the affectivity and the effective life nourishes the sexual relationship with love, hence the expression “make love”, but this does not mean that the couple’s relationship to use is the only way in which affectivity and sexuality relate.

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